Saturday 13 June 2020

Brave patriot highlights his deep concerns for historical statues by hurling traffic cone at policeman


Angry patriots throwing things at police

Tommy Robinson supporters have gathered outside parliament to express their concerns for the safety of historical statues using their preferred communication medium of mindless thuggery and violence.

With reports claiming that up to tens of brave patriots may have marched on central London, those keenest to express their disquiet at the number of statues pulled down by anti-racism protesters, chose to articulate those views by throwing cans, bottles and even a few punches, at police.

Tommy Robinson fan and self-proclaimed freedom-loving patriot Simon ‘Dave’ Williams told us, “We felt that we needed to step up and protect its historical statues from the protesters that weren’t coming today anyway, and the best way to do this is by throwing sticks at police and being photographed doing Hitler salutes.

“It’s important we get the message out there, and the message is that the inanimate statues are the real victims here, and as such, that message will be tied to whatever we can lift before being thrown in the direction of the line of police who have come to ensure we don’t do precisely the things we are doing.

“How else can we demonstrate our unhappiness at protesters throwing and breaking things, if not by throwing and breaking things?”

Another told us, “I wanted to throw a car to show upset I am at anti-racism protesters pulling down statues of people with racist pasts, but it turns out I can’t throw a car – which is disappointing and frustrating.

“So I expressed my anger at not being able to throw the car, by kicking it instead. That car is now under no illusions that I will not stand idly by while statues I didn’t know existed last week are being torn down.

“Checkmate liberals.”

I am the Liberal Establishment Elite (apparently) – get the T-shirt here!

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