Tuesday 3 December 2019 by Neil Tollfree

Day 26 of Election campaign: Everyone calls everyone else a c**t


Boris angry

As the General Election campaigns reach their climax, yesterday was notable for all candidates calling all the other candidates a c**t.

The day began with Jo Swinson appearing on Lorraine and, in response to being asked if she had any respect for other leaders, she answered – ‘the problem with Jeremy Corbyn and Boris Johnson is that they’re just a pair of c**ts.’

Lorraine found it difficult to counter the argument and so the interview drew to a close.

Boris Johnson then picked up on the theme at a rally in a shed in Scarborough with the three supporters who were prepared to admit they supported him.

“I understand Jo Swinson referred to me as a c**t earlier, well if anything, she’s the c**t, and Jeremy Corbyn, what a c**t, eh?

“Now, vote for me, you ghastly bunch of proles. Do as you’re told.”

Jeremy Corbyn also took the opportunity to respond as a spoke to a room full of glassy-eyed smiling zealots.

“So, I’m a c**t, am I? Well, pending approval from the membership, which will be ratified later in 2020, I can respond on behalf of the largest party membership in Europe by saying that both Jo Swinson and Boris Johnson are the real c**ts here.”

It is considered the most edifying day of the election so far.

Today, it is thought, will see the party leaders trying to gain ground by calling each other ‘complete f**king b***ards’.

I’m voting for the side with the fewest arseholes – get the T-shirt HERE

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