Tuesday 29 October 2019

Hero dog releases photo wearing ‘Impeach Trump’ badge


Impeach Trump badge

The hero dog involved in the killing of ISIS leader Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi has released a photo of himself wearing an ‘impeach trump’ badge.

After a photo of the dog was declassified by the President, the dog himself chose to release an updated photo to take advantage of his new-found celebrity and political influence.

He told reporters, “I was just doing my duty chasing down al-Baghdadi, and I’m pleased to have served the American people – unlike the Cheeto-in-chief, who frankly embarrasses our great nation on an almost daily basis.

“Let’s just agree to impeach Dodgy Don and move on. Mike Pence can be the boss for a few months and then we’ll just replace him with someone half-decent at the polling booth in 2020, because right now, half-decent feels like a massive leap upwards.”

Shortly after the release of the updated photo, President Trump took to Twitter to criticise the dog in the style that has become customary when anyone offers anything short of sycophantic praise towards the White House incumbent.

“That dog is such a loser, the worst dog in the world, lots of people are saying it,” Trump told his millions of Twitter followers just hours after offering it effusive praise.

“He’s so stupid they don’t even let him have a gun. He’s the dumbest dog in the entire armed forces and you should not listen to him at all.”

A White House press spokesperson said yes, the president has indeed just criticised a talking dog for being stupid, but that is not even in the top five nonsense positions he’s taken this week.

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