Boris Johnson actually three kids in a trench-coat

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The entity known as Boris Johnson is actually three children stacked on top of each other.

The British electorate has long been in awe of Boris Johnson’s ascent through politics while wondering how a grown man can be that bumbling and awkward.

“But the fact he’s three kids in a trench-coat actually makes total sense,” said citizen, Jay Cooper.

“No wonder he thought t was fine to refer to black people as having ‘watermelon smiles’, he just wasn’t old enough to know better.”

“And it explains why he wiped out that Japanese child on a rugby pitch. He just saw a child a similar age to him and treated it like playtime at school.

“And it’s little wonder he can’t get ANYTHING done in Westminster. Being Prime Minister is difficult, even for most grown-ups, so goodness knows how three six-year-olds stacked on top of each other are dealing with it.”

Boris Johnson commented “RUFF-RAHH!

“These claims are ludicrous, old boy.

“I am a competent big-sized person. I do a good politics every single day. I colour in all the bits of paper and I stay in the lines. I also go wee-wee stood up like a big boy and hardly ever wet the bed these days.

“Is it milk time yet? The middle of us is thirsty and the bottom of us has sore shoulders.”