Friday 6 September 2019 by Tommy Hurst

Empty shampoo bottle forced through humiliation of watching replacement in use


shower bottle empty in the shower

An empty shampoo bottle is being forced through the indignity of watching its replacement clean shower-goers.

The old bottle – who began to entertain notions that in the current ecological climate it might get refilled and reused – has been left in the corner of the shower, apparently forgotten about for the foreseeable future.

The bottle laments the fact that it has to watch its replacement being used day after day, mocking its own emptiness and constantly reminding it of its former glory; the fact that the new bottle is a wholesale jumbo one is further causing pain for the empty bottle, as it will be a long time before a new empty bottle takes its place.

While the prospect of being recycled is painful, the bottle laments that it might bring it a new lease of life, and that if it ended up in either a landfill or the sea, at least it would know its fate.

On the plus side, the bottle had heard rumours of other empty bottles suffering the torture of being made to watch this all unfold whilst standing on their heads for months on end.

The bottle claims that it’s the waiting to see what will happen that is plaguing its mental health, citing its dubbing its predicament “Garnier Limbo” (which admittedly sounds like a new product that could also replace the bottle).

The bottle’s miseries may be short-lived, however, as analysis shows that the likelihood of its being noticed and removed will increase dramatically if its owner ever gets a girlfriend who will have higher standards of cleanliness than the owner; the bottle now sits in wait hoping for this to happen like a voiceless plastic wingman.

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