Thursday 22 August 2019

Isle of Wight renamed Isle of White in hope Donald Trump might fancy buying it


Isle of Wight rebrand as Isle of White

The Isle of Wight is today rebranding as the Isle of White in the hope Donald Trump is still looking for a European island to buy.

Residents of the island have insisted they would be quite keen to become the US’ fifty-first state, and hope the rebranding will be enough to entice the US president to make a bid.

Isle of White resident Simon Williams told us, “I think we all know how fond Donald is of everything white, and what could be more white for the man in the white house than the Isle of White.

“We did consider the Isle of no-blacks, but that felt a little on the nose. We just hope we’re not being too subtle, we know subtlety isn’t Trump’s strong point.”

A White House advisor admitted they could be interested in a bid, but the administration was keen to know more about the 140,000 residents.

They told us, “Are any of these residents likely to want to come to the mainland? Because we’re not sure we can sell a plan to the American people that brings another hundred thousand migrants to the border. Even if they are the right colour.”

A bid is expected any day now after Trump himself googled the Isle of Wight festival and now mistakenly believes it’s a gathering of ‘very fine people’ celebrating their ethnicity.

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