‘I am the chosen one’ says man who doesn’t live in real world and wants guns – lots of guns

author avatar by 5 years ago

President Trump appears to have explained why he exists in a fantasy world and loves firearms.

The latest ramblings of dangerous madman and leader of the free world Donald Trump include a declaration that he is the ‘chosen one’.

“There are two ways of interpreting this comment,” said Clinical Psychologist Simon Williams.

“Firstly, Trump thinks he lives in the matrix and can do whatever he wants without consequence because observable reality is nothing but a fictional construct designed to keep up compliant.

“The fact that he’s done so many awful things and still made it to the White House is likely to reinforce this belief.

“This would also explain how Trump can look at something which seems real and tangible – say, a spoon or racism – and think to himself ‘there is no racism’.

“Furthermore, it shows us why he believes the best solution to society’s problems is to tool up and shoot your way out – preferably in slow motion with cool music playing.

“The second interpretation is that this isn’t actually the real world and we are indeed all living in the matrix. To be fair, this would explain how Donald Trump and Boris Johnson have risen to positions of power.

“Personally, for the sake of my children, I hope that Brexit is in fact just a computer simulation and we’re all actually just living in tanks, being farmed for use as giant batteries in a machine-dominated society.

“At least then my kids will be well fed and have somewhere to live.”