Taxi driver refuses to believe there are radio stations that aren’t Heart

Taxi Driver Simon Williams laughs when told that the buttons on his radio can actually change the radio station from Heart to one that doesn’t just play the blandest nineties and noughties pop.

“No mate, I’m not having it. Different radio stations? That aren’t Heart? Madness.

“I’ve been cabbing for twenty-odd years now and, as far as I know, the only radio station that exists is Heart.”

To illustrate the point, he turns on the radio and Cher’s Believe is playing on what can only be Heart.

“See? Heart. That’s what the radio is.”

Asked if he likes Heart, Mr Williams is resigned.

“Well, I don’t know if ‘like’ is the right word. I mean, it’s non-stop Stars-era Simply Red, Boyzone, and Bruno Mars. Maybe some Dido if the DJ is a bit alternative. No one actively ‘likes’ that, it’s just what’s on the radio.”

Mr Williams is baffled by the idea that there are other radio stations he could listen to that play modern music.

“What do you mean? ‘Modern?’ Didn’t they stop making music in 2011?

“No, look, it may be the most bland, boring, wallpaper sort of music ever made, but that’s the way it is, isn’t it?”

Despite his understandable distaste for Heart. Mr Williams balks at the suggestion of turning the radio off.

“No, can’t have the radio switched off. If I did that I’d have to talk to the general public.

“Have you met the general public? Boring bunch of bastards who just go on about radio stations.”

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