America having a fairly average weekend

The United States doesn’t see what all the fuss is about as this is actually a pretty average Sunday, we can report.

With only two massacres within hours of each other, American citizens recognise this would be unusual in some parts of the world, but for them it’s just a fairly normal weekend.

Commenters are mystified by the international reaction to the news of dozens of bodies, as it happens every few days so surely it’s not such a big deal any more.

”You can get used to anything if you try hard enough,” said Simon-Bob Williams of Missouri.

”It’s just part of the morning routine – get up, shower, pot of coffee, check the overnight casualty totals, go out and do some yard work.

”Sometimes I like to mix it up a bit by having waffles, or looking at the numbers of dead around dinner time just to break up the routine.

“But thirty or forty dead in mass shootings is a small price to pay for living in the greatest country on earth.

“So long as I’m not shot, I can’t see any reason to change anything – and that’s the American way.”

When asked, people from anywhere else in the world said they’re fairly confident this isn’t actually normal.

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