Friday 5 July 2019 by Sarah Sumeray

Man devastated he may never be able to fit his joke into conversation


man worried he may never get his joke into conversation

“I didn’t even want to go,” says 45-year-old Simon Williams, of the event that was to change the course of his life forever.

On 23rd March 2018, Simon and his partner of seven years, Jane, were invited to a friend’s barbecue in Somerset.

Food was being served, and the drinks were flowing. Everything seemed to be going well.

At approximately 4pm, Simon found himself caught up in conversation with five people he was unfamiliar with, and as a member of the group made a comment, he conjured up a witty response which he was sure would have the group instantly warm to him – perhaps even cause them to offer a lifelong membership to their friendship group.

However, before he could respond, another member of the group interrupted and Simon was unable to interject with his comedic comment.

Ever since that fateful day, the father of two has been desperately attempting to slip his joke into other conversations, but to no avail.

“Not only does the conversation need to be somewhat relevant, but I need to make it look effortless. Like I’ve just thought of it on the spot” Simon told us.

“…and everyday, the relevance of my joke diminishes more and more. I can’t have people thinking I’m not topical”

Simon’s partner had this to say: “He’s really struggling. He hasn’t eaten in days. He just sits in his office, plotting how he’s going to fit his joke into conversation.

“This has never happened before. Usually, he will speak over you – shout, even – just to get his joke across, but having not been able to do it this one time is really affecting his health.”

As a fragile Simon continues to deteriorate, in a statement released to the press, he said:

“I would really appreciate if my privacy was respected at this incredibly difficult time. I have been through enough trauma and will be expressing no more on the matter.

“Unless, you know, you would like to hear the joke?”

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