The BBC has confirmed that Nigel Farage will take part in this evenings televised Conservative leadership debate, due to contractual obligations.
The beloved British institution has a well-known love of the Brexit Party leader, and is keen to give him as much free airtime as required by someone who has failed seven times to become an MP.
“We need his divisive and xenophobic attitudes to balance the debate. We cannot possibly have non-Fascists on prime time live television without giving the opposing opinion a platform,” a BBC spokesperson told us.
“Also, Nigel has a contract that says he can be on any of our television shows whenever he likes – no, we don’t know how he got someone to sign it either, but it explains a lot. Next weeks he’s reading the Cbeebies bedtime story.
“But remember, there is no way that giving such toxic views a platform on serious political shows could give them legitimacy or have anything to do with this Brexit mess and the rise in racist hate crime.”
Critics have argued that the BBC’s use of Farage makes no sense, though supporters have argued that Channel 4 included an empty podium in their debate.
The BBC laughed off criticism that Farage shouldn’t be included in the debate, with an official statement advising: “The implication that Nigel Farage is not qualified to participate in a Conservative leadership debate simply because he is not a Conservative or an MP is absurd.
“He isn’t qualified to be on any of our other programmes either, but that doesn’t stop us inviting him on.”