Tuesday 18 June 2019

“As a mother, it is my duty to back man who can’t confirm how many children he has” explains Andrea Leadsom


Andrea Leadsom backing Boris

Andrea Leadsom has backed Boris Johnson for leader of the Conservative party, explaining that as a mother she feels she has to vote for the man who can’t confirm how many children he has.

After falling at the first hurdle in her own attempts to become leader, Leadsom has used all of her legendary mothering instincts to draw the conclusion that Boris is the man to lead the country.

She told reporters, “I think it’s important when we are looking for a leader of this great nation, that we make sure whoever takes the reins is on top of all the salient details associated with running a nation.

“Obviously they don’t have room in their brains for the less-important issues such as how many children they have; you can’t be expected to run a country and keep track of your progeny – illegitimate or otherwise.

“For me, the fact that Boris and his spokespeople aren’t able to put a number on how many children he has – despite repeatedly being asked – is a confirmation of just how focussed he is on the job at hand.

“He doesn’t have time for counting children when there is a Brexit that needs sorting.”

Boris’ team have thanked Leadsom for her endorsement, and insisted that the number of children belonging to Boris, from however many women, is of no interest to the voting public.

A spokesman told us, “If anything, our inability to answer this question shows that Boris isn’t fussy when it comes to leaping into action wherever he’s wanted, and that he’s always happy to ‘perform’ if there’s a small piece of personal gratification available to him.

“Perfect leadership material.”

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