Friday 10 May 2019 by Chris Ballard

Next episode of BBC Question Time to just be an hour of Nigel Farage masturbating


Nigel Farage question time masturbation

As the producers of Question Time continue to refine their editorial vision, the next edition of the show will consist solely of Nigel Farage wanking onto the Union Flag.

Question Time editors were delighted with how last night’s show turned out. Nigel Farage – armed with about as many facts as you’d find in a Harry Potter novel – interrupted, harangued and blustered his way through the entire show, cheered on by a xenophobic section of the audience.

Editor Simon Williams explained how he plans to take things even further.

“It was truly wonderful to see Nigel talk over Fiona Bruce, contradict himself and tell demonstrable lies on national television.

“I mean, the way he claimed that the UK is simultaneously losing jobs to low-skilled immigrants and also depriving other countries of highly-skilled immigrants – brilliant! How Farage attempts to mask his racism beneath a rhetoric of border control is masterful.

“And then there was the WTO question from the audience. Unable to answer, Farage spouted ill-informed nonsense about trade deals which demonstrated his sheer desperation to leave the EU at any cost to the British people.

“It really is impossible to give this man too much air time.

“However, we think we can go one better.

“There won’t be a panel next week; it’ll just be Nigel playing with himself in front of the British flag. Ideally, he’ll ejaculate just as the programme ends and a select crowd of racists will then roar with approval.

“This is why people pay their licence fee.”

There are currently witterings below - why not add your own?

Previous post:

Next post: