Ecuador finally sick of Julian Assange’s shit

author avatar by 5 years ago

Ecuador has finally got as sick of Julian Assange’s shit as everyone else and thrown him out, we can report.

Julian Assange, who skipped bail in the name of justice and freedom in 2012, then spent the next seven years claiming to be falsely imprisoned whilst hiding in a wardrobe.

It is understood that staff at the Ecuadorian Embassy in London finally got sick of Assange reading their emails and touching their arses, and so hoofed him onto the street, followed by them throwing his clothes out of the window, including his pair of underpants and all three of his socks.

Assange had nowhere else to go, as he no longer has any information about people Vladimir Putin doesn’t like to bargain with.

“The British have had a policeman outside the Embassy waiting for this for years,” Ecuadorian Ambassador Simenez Williamsio told us.

“They knew we’d eventually get sick of him looking through the keyhole when we were in the toilet and sniffing female staffers knickers.

“We even let him off eating all the Ferrero Rocher we’d got for a reception last month, but the final straw was us coming in this morning and finding he’d used all the milk in the fridge…yet a-bleeding-gain.

“I mean, screw that guy, right?

“We’re keeping his cat though. That just pisses on the rug and thinks everyone loves it, so it’ll be a reminder of the time we spent with Julian.”