Friday 5 April 2019 by Stephen Marlborough

God confirms House of Commons leak was test for Great Flood II


Commons flooded

A spokesman for God has confirmed yesterday’s leak in the House of Commons was a test for the start of another Great Flood.

The Almighty has identified the Houses of Parliament as ‘a good place to start’ if he decides to press reset on humanity, a statement from Heaven officials said.

A spokesman announced: “With human beings continually screwing up the world for no good reason, God is making contingency plans for the first Great Flood in roughly 4,500 years.

“And with several British MPs showing themselves repeatedly to be absolute morons, he decided the Palace of Westminster would be as good a place as any to start.

“So we organised a test event to see how it would go, and we were fairly happy with the results.

“There were a few teething problems, such as the targeting technology being slightly out.

“We had hoped to drench that Mark Francois bloke because, well, God has a sense of humour too.

“But all in all we were pleased with how it went and we now stand ready to open the valve again if humans don’t stop fucking things up.”

The spokesman would not be drawn on whether a modern-day equivalent of Noah had been chosen to relaunch the planet if God chooses to rip it up and start again.

But sources claim Sir David Attenborough has been advised to stockpile wood, nails, tar and Waitrose ready-meals.

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