Friday 1 February 2019 by Neil Tollfree

Shock as Brexiter completes rant without mentioning World War II


Brexiter fails to invoke World War II

There was widespread shock at the news that a Leave voter managed to complete a diatribe about post-Brexit Britain without invoking World War II.

Simon Williams, a leaf painter from Cheshunt, was explaining to colleagues that it was only snowflake remainers who needed a ready supply of insulin when the curious event occurred.

“Yeah, Si was going on about EU federalism and backstops and other things that he clearly doesn’t understand,” explains colleague Eleanor Gay.

“I just tune out when he does that, I mean, doesn’t everyone?

“But amongst the droning nonsense and half-baked opinions masquerading as facts, I realised that I hadn’t heard the words ‘Churchill’ or ‘Blitz spirit,’ or even ‘the war,’ so I started paying attention and sure enough, by the time he’d got to ‘betrayal of the will of the people,’ I realised that he hadn’t invoked the second world war – at all.

“It was very weird.”

Reaction to the news came quickly with disbelief turning to acceptance in the face of Ms Gay’s testimony.

“Blimey, they should have him stuffed,” tweeted @SexyRemainPants, probably from their knitted Vegan yurt somewhere in the home counties

However, Chris Grayling, leading Brexiter and twice winner of Idiot Monthly’s Man of the Year award, claimed that such an occurrence was not unusual.

“I think you’ll find that we Brexit supporters are quite capable of speaking without mentioning World War II,” he claimed.

“I mean, we’re very like Winston Churchill in that regard. He didn’t need to mention the war to get through the war, he just used his great blitz spirit.”

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