Monday 7 January 2019 by Neil Tollfree

Country renowned for fair play to send gunship up against some men in dinghies


British gunship

There was some surprise at the announcement that a country that, throughout history, has been known the world over for its sense of fair play, is proposing to send a naval gunship up against a handful of men in some dinghies.

The country, ironically entitled ‘Great’ Britain, is currently in the process of manufacturing an immigration crisis to distract from its absurd plan to cut itself off from the rest of the world because it wants bendy Bananas. Or doesn’t want bendy bananas. No one can really remember.

“Several brown men in a dinghy definitely constitutes a crisis,” said whichever foaming lunatic is currently in charge of that sort of thing.

“And big, powerful guns make me feel funny in my tummy, so I’m sending in the military,” he continued, seemingly oblivious to the fact that throughout history Britain has been synonymous with fair play – they invented cricket for heaven sake! – and some might consider a battle between a dinghy and a gunship to have the odds somewhat stocked on the side of the gunboat.

However, a government minister denied that sending the military up against men in dinghies was counter to the British sense of fair play, as the British sense of fair play should only really apply to people who were born in Britain to begin with.

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