Wednesday 2 January 2019

Moron utterly convinced Greggs vegan sausage rolls will infect steak bakes with dangerous levels of veganism


Greggs vegan sausage roll

An idiot angry at Greggs for releasing a vegan sausage roll is utterly convinced all other baked delights served by the chain will be infected by veganism.

Moron Simon Williams has taken to social media in support of Piers Morgan who expressed outrage at a shop making a vegan sausage roll that he is in no way obligated to buy, or eat.

He told us, “Society is full of snowflakes and the easily offended who are ruining absolutely everything, so it’s important that I choose this particular issue to angrily highlight what I think about it – this is different the easily offended getting angry because this is me getting angry and offended about something I think is important.

“Vegan sausage rolls are the thin end of the wedge, you mark my words.  If we don’t put a stop to this nonsense this time next year we’ll all be dressed in hessian sacks and injecting oat milk by the gallon.”

Others have reacted with a slightly more appropriate level of emotion.

Non-moron Dave Smith told us, “The correct way to react to a shop selling something you don’t like is to not buy it. Not go screaming to your Twitter app to confirm to everyone what a hypocritical snowflake you really are.

“It takes a spectacular lack of self-awareness to spend your days bitching about the easily offended making everything shit, only to publicly lose your mind because Greggs launched a new sausage roll.”

Greggs marketing executive Tarquin Chumley told us, “On behalf of everyone at Greggs, I’d just like to say a massive thank you to everyone complaining about our new product on social media.

“You literally can’t buy this sort of publicity.”

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