Friday 21 December 2018 by Davywavy

Annoying drone traced to Jacob Rees-Mogg’s mouth


Jacob Rees-Mogg annoying drone

An annoying drone which threatens to bring the nation to a standstill has been found emanating from Jacob Rees-Moggs mouth.

The drone, which just keeps on appearing despite everyone’s best efforts to bring it to an end, has been repeatedly spotted around Westminster and has thus far resisted efforts to shut it down.

”It’s obviously frustrating for anyone trying to get anything done and we can only apologise to those people affected,” said insider Simon Williams.

”Just when you think you’re getting somewhere, the drone starts up again and fucks up your day once more. It just goes on and on and on. And on.

“It’s not serving any useful purpose whatsoever, beyond letting everyone know it’s still there, getting as much media coverage as possible, and making things as difficult as possible for normal people to get on with things.”

Observers point out that Jacob Rees-Mogg is not the only drone to have been sighted in the vicinity, with others emerging from the mouths of Jeremy Corbyn and Diane Abbot also being prominent.

“And what comes out of Boris’ mouth is less of a drone and more of an irritating squeaking,” we were told.

“We’ve asked for snipers to be deployed to deal with the drones, but the problem is they’re paper thin and extremely volatile when punctured.”

The public has been reminded that for safety reasons, drones like this should always be kept at least 50 meters away from people, 150 meters away from congested areas, and several miles from the nearest press opportunities.

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