Sunday 2 December 2018 by Davywavy

Chocolate advent calendar already finished


man eaten advent calendar

An advent calendar with a chocolate behind every door for all of December has been completely finished already.

The calendar, which was bought yesterday by 33-year old Simon Williams for his family to enjoy for the entirety of next month, has been reduced to an empty shell within minutes of his intentions coming into contact with hard reality.

“It said ‘Fun for everyone until Christmas Day’ on the packaging,” he told us whilst gazing at the wreck and scattered lumps of silver paper which until recently contained confectionery.

“And then I showed it to my family and it disappeared into a crowd of whirling limbs, like a fight in a cartoon. By the time it came out again everything was gone and my missus was smeared in chocolate and was a bit plumper.

“So it wasn’t all bad, now I think about it,” he added with a sudden twinkle.

“Still, with any luck, the crackers and cake I’ve bought will give everyone a smile on Christmas Day anyway.”

Breaking news: Crackers and cake almost certain not to survive until Christmas day.

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