Obscenely wealthy Muslims actually pretty cool, confirms Trump

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Donald Trump has spoken out in support of the Saudi regime, insisting that although Muslims obviously aren’t all that great, it’s actually OK to be friends with the obscenely rich ones.

Despite facing accusations of racist policies against predominantly Muslim countries, White House officials have said they hope the President’s love-in with Saudi Arabia will put an end to such horrific slurs.

Press Secretary Sarah Sanders told reporters, “We are delighted that those of you in the crooked media are finally being forced to talk about how nice the President is to the Muslims.

“Particularly those Muslims who happen to be worth a few bucks.  I mean, if you’re a Muslim who has a few hundred billion to throw around on bang-bang sticks then this president will be very nice to you, it really doesn’t matter what sort of atrocity you’ve sanctioned.

“But if you’re dirt poor, then we are going to use your religious beliefs as a reason to ostracise you and deny you access to our country.

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“The important thing to take away from this is that we can now all agree that the President is not, in any way, prejudiced against all Muslims.”

Saudi Crown Prince Mohammed bin Salman said he welcomed the President’s kind words, and as a result, he looked forward to not cancelling the massive cheque he wrote earlier this year.

He went on to tell reporters, “Donald is a nice guy, very nice and deferential to me – which I quite like. The boot-licking was a bit much, but he can’t help himself around this much gold.”