The White House has issued a statement saying it is hopeful that a young intern will walk again after the savage and brutal attack she suffered from veteran CNN reporter Jim Acosta.
It went on to claim that Acosta, who attacked the woman without warning using knives, guns and small explosives was only prevented from killing her by the intervention of President Trump, who is the real hero here.
The statement reveals that the intern is now conscious again and talking, she has been able to eat and doctors are confident that after extensive surgery to save her legs she will, one day, be able to walk again.
“That young intern, who was very hot by the way, suffered a terrible ordeal,” said President Trump, commenting on the statement.
“Once again we have seen how the Fake News media has an agenda to attack me and my Presidency and it is an innocent young hot girl has suffered as a result.
“I’m just glad I was there to be a real hero.”
White Press Secretary Sarah Huckabee Saunders then read out a statement from the intern.
“I, an intern, whose name is unimportant, would like to thank our president for bravely stepping in and wrestling Jim Acosta, a peddler of fake news, to the floor and disarming him.
“I would not be alive today without President Trump and I would like to go on record saying how his hands are actually quite big.”
It is understood that to recover from the trauma of his involvement in the attack, the President will take the whole weekend off to play golf and watch pornography.