A woman sitting quietly listening to headphones is clearly in dire need of some bloke to interrupt her, find out what she’s listening to, and then tell her it sucks, according to reports.
Simone Williams, who declined to tell us what she’s listening to when we walked up to her, is obviously missing only one thing to make her life complete – an unprompted critique of whatever rubbish she’s listening to by some random in the street.
Passer-by Simon W*******, who asked to remain anonymous, told us that her manifest quiet, happy contemplation of her music – complete with occasional toe-tapping – clearly indicated she has terrible, terrible taste.
“I saw her sitting there quietly, completely unaware of my existence, and realised that it’s probably some poppy rubbish that she just thinks she enjoys”, he told us.
“I don’t know what it is, but there’s no way at all it’ll be any good and clearly I’m the guy to tell her. Well, me or any of the other forty-seven bypassers thinking the same thing.”
“Music isn’t there to be enjoyed. It’s there to challenge you, make you miserable following bands on tour round shitty, beer soaked venues, and make you feel like you’re better than other people by knowing more than them about it.”
“I’m going to try and introduce her to The Fall. That should ruin any chance she has of future happiness completely.”