Treasury minister Liz Truss has told conference delegates that raising the speed limit to 80mph would increase national productivity, seemingly unaware that anyone on their way to an important meeting is already nudging 90.
Truss told a fringe group at the Conservative Party conference that higher speed limits could form part of the government’s post-Brexit growth strategy, instead of, you know, doing things to help businesses.
She told those gathered to listen to her wisdom, “What we in government know is that the time you, the public, are not spending in meetings and at your place of work is unproductive and less valuable to us as a nation – because that time is your own, an opportunity to think and reflect – and we don’t want you doing any of that.
“We want you producing, helping Brexit Britain become a success – so we will do everything we can get you to your place of work more quickly, and to spend less time on the roads between these meetings you keep going to.”
The move has been welcomed by the sort of people who do not regularly use the nation’s major roads.
Driver Simon Williams said, “OK, increasing the speed limit is all well and good, but any regular commuter or business traveller will tell you that 70mph is more of a ‘guideline’ when you’re trying to get to a meeting.
“I’m not sure how raising the speed limit to 80mph will make a difference to my productivity when I’m already doing 90mph on the M40 to make sure I get to Oxford before 2pm.
“Except, I suppose, that in the very unlikely case that I get caught by a speed camera, maybe any subsequent speeding fine might be a little smaller.”