Wednesday 15 August 2018 by Lucas Wilde

Utterly crap terrorist named


Westminster attack driver named

The terrorist who couldn’t even land anyone in the hospital for more than an afternoon has been named by police.

Salih Khater drove from Birmingham to London in order to ram pedestrians and cyclists with his car, succeeding in killing absolutely nobody and causing the most damage to his organisation’s reputation, the incompetent twat.

“I almost feel sorry for him wasting the £60 or so on the fuel,” shrugged eyewitness, Simon Williams.

“One cyclist even jumped back up off the ground and chased after Khater so that they could rip from the car and beat him up.  That’s just embarrassing for him.

“I mean seriously, I could have done a better job of this, and I’m a bloody liberal democrat.

“No wonder we’re not frightened of these people anymore. They’ve gone from hijacking planes and murdering thousands to using a Ford Fiesta to give someone a badly grazed shin.

“I suppose this is what happens when you have a policy of all your attacks being of the suicide variety.  Everyone who was even moderately competent has already been and gone.

“The guys they have left are the terrorist equivalent of the kids picked last in gym class. They should be grateful he was able to fill the car with petrol without accidentally setting fire to himself.”

Cyclist Hayley Rice, who was hit by Khater’s car, said, “Yeah I’m fine, just glad I wasn’t in the hospital for too long.

“You’d think I’d be in shock, but then I’m a cyclist in London. Someone tries to kill me most days, either intentionally or by accident.”

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