In a legally binding referendum, the nation’s children will now all eat only ice cream, regardless of the consequences to their health.
The referendum, much criticised for giving huge power to a section of the population who might not understand the intricacies of nutrition and its long-term effects, was seen as binding by all participants.
However, many of those who voted for ice-cream are complaining at the stalling tactics from those clearly wishing to avoid the will of the small people.
Simon Williams, 8, voted for ice-cream and told us,”The nation voted for ice-cream, so we should just get on with eating ice-cream. How complicated can it be? Just get a bowl, fill it with ice-cream and let us get on with it!
“These Veg-moaners lost and they should get over it. Don’t you dare try and subvert democracy by keeping me away from my ice-cream.”
However, 11-year-old Jake Matthews told us, “Yes, I voted for a more balanced diet.
“The ice-cream campaign made it all sound very tempting. Their big red bus was very convincing, I mean, who doesn’t want to grow up big and strong eating nothing but ice-cream?
“But in the end, I assumed that my parents knew best. I’m not a nutritionist. I don’t always like vegetables, but when experts tell me I’m better off eating them, then maybe I should.”
However, Williams went on, “We’ve taken back control of our diets! Vegetables are horrible! Hurray! Ice-cream for every meal like we VOTED for!
“Oh, could you pass me that sick bucket please?”