The media has promised to leave President Trump alone entirely, after his latest outburst against the ‘fake news mainstream media’.
Following Trump’s branding of mainstream media as “an enemy of the people”, representatives from the BBC, Fox News, CNN, NewsThump, NBC and Associated Newspapers all agreed to simply stop covering him, in order to calm things down a bit.
“Following these latest inarticulate attempts to slander the free press, we will no longer be running any stories about President Trump,” confirmed BBC spokesperson, Simon Williams.
“It is clear that he is upset by all the attention we are lavishing on him, so we will just stop doing that.
“I’m not sure anyone will mind if they see less of Donald Trump on the news and in their papers. Personally speaking, we’ll just tack an extra five minutes onto the sports report. It’s about time table tennis got the coverage it deserves, anyway.”
After hearing of the plans, a panicky President Trump said, “Whooooa… hold on, folks, let’s not be too hasty about this.
“I mean… I never said that I hate you… did I? No, I don’t think I did say that. And anyone who says I did is fake news.
“Anyway, I don’t think you should stop talking about me. People love to talk about me. I think that it’s a bad idea to stop talking about me, I really do. You should keep talking about me but you should just say nice things. Is that so hard?
“Just… please don’t go…”