A man met a dreadful, gory demise after he read a NewsThump article which carried a terrible curse.
Simon Williams, 34, was browsing through social media hoping to see a few funnies as he drank his morning coffee.
He soon stumbled across a spoof news story with the headline, ‘Man dies horrible, violent death after reading cursed Friday 13th NewsThump article.’
It described how a man read a comedy news article about someone who died after reading a comedy news article.
Simon learnt about how, a few hours after seeing the article, this man supposedly popped out to get some lunch and died in a gruesome freak accident.
The article ended with the ominous phrase, ‘You will die today’.
The story was constructed in such a way that the reader was supposed to realise they were looking at the same cursed article and would suffer a similar appalling fate.
Simon soon moved on to read something else – it was a cute idea but wasn’t exactly the funniest thing he’d ever seen.
Later that day, as he took a lunchtime stroll to grab a sandwich, Simon was tragically killed in a freak accident. The details are too horrible to report but suffice to say intestines were involved as was a skipping rope, a traffic cone and a Bic biro.
The authorities have assured the public that Mr Williams died as a result of extreme misfortune and that any talk of a cursed article is, of course, utter nonsense – and anyone who believes such things is a complete idiot.
You will die today.