Homosexuals call for conversion therapy to ‘cure’ Christianity

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One of the country’s leading homosexuals has called for the use of the controversial conversion therapy to try and ‘cure’ those living a Christian lifestyle.

“Christianity is a fundamental danger to the well-being of society,” said Simon Williams, a homosexual anti-Christian campaigner.

“To have a group of people so obsessed with what other people do with their genitals is, frankly, just weird.

“Now, yes, I accept that their Bible actually has very little to say about sexual behaviour, but Christianity seems to have moved so far away from those teachings that now it’s primary reason to exist is to be angry about what people do with other people’s genitals.

“Can you imagine bringing up children in that sort of environment? It simply can’t be healthy.

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“No-one is born Christian, so it should be easy to stop being one.”

Mr Williams went on to describe the nature of the conversion therapy.

“Well, we start gently with just showing the Christian videos of people happily chatting normally and not being angry about the sex that other people might be having.

“Then we say words like ‘homosexual,’ ‘oral,’ and ‘girl on girl costume-play,’ and the subject is taught ways to not spend the rest of the day unhealthily fixating on the topic.

“Finally, the subject goes out for a drink with a homosexual and if they make it through the evening without once thinking about the homosexual engaging in acts with another homosexual, then they’re cured.”

Although the majority of the population are sceptical about the morality of so-called conversion therapy, if it’ll stop Christians endlessly banging on about homosexuals, people are happy for it to be used.