Updated Sunday Times rich-list is ‘mostly ice-cream men’

author avatar by 6 years ago

Britain’s ice cream men are suddenly absolutely minted.

Following the kind of heatwave allowing one to cook not only an egg on the pavement but also the bacon, the sausages and the mushrooms, Britons have been flocking to ice cream vans in droves.

“The richest one is worth £1.2 billion at this point,” said a stunned Simon Williams, editor of the Sunday Times.

“That just seems wrong. People with that much money usually aren’t selling anything tangible, useful or nice, let alone delicious frozen treats from a van on a hot day.”

Ice cream man, Jay Cooper, said, “May through to the latter half of June were a bit disappointing.

NewsThump Best sellers

“But the days since have more than made up for it; I reckon I’ve done about £400million.

“Although I did make the mistake of filling the van up at a service station, so now it’s more like £399million. Rookie error right there.

“You look a bit warm, would you like an ice cream? Or £1,000 to buy yourself an air conditioner? You can have either. I’m feeling generous.”