Disappointed kitchen staff denied golden opportunity to spit in Sarah Sanders’ food

author avatar by 6 years ago

Kitchen staff at a Washington restaurant have been left disappointed after the opportunity to spit in Sarah Sanders’ food was cruelly taken away from them at the eleventh hour.

The staff watched eagerly as Sanders and he companions made their way into the restaurant, and eagerly began clearing their throats of mucus in preparation.

As one staff member told us,”It was exciting. How often do you get the chance to get your hands on the food of someone from inside the Trump administration?

“I mean, it wasn’t Trump himself, but then we don’t serve Big Macs so the chances of seeing him in here are pretty slim.

“Still, the White House Press Secretary is probably the second most recognisable face in that team, so she was a pretty good proxy.  Plus there’s all that footage of her either telling lies or obfuscating the truth, and particularly of her dismissing the concerns of reporters asking about migrant children removed from their parents recently.

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“I think it’s safe to say the members of the kitchen staff who have children were the first in line to donate something extra to her dish.

“I’ve never heard such a wail of anguish when she was asked to leave – there were tears from all of us.”

Washington restaurant workers have spoken of the disappointment of their colleagues but insisted that the opportunity will come again.

As one explained, “Look, people from inside the White House eat out quite a lot. I think it’s safe to assume that at least ten percent of their calories come from the bodily fluids of the people serving them.”