Recent proposals to make marijuana legal have come as a surprise to white people, who were pretty sure it already was.
“I get baked most weekends”, said 23-year-old Poppy Williams, who had hitherto been blissfully unaware that possession could lead to up to five years in prison and an unlimited fine, largely due to there being no chance whatsoever of that ever happening to a middle-class kid with rich parents like hers.
She went on, “I always thought it was a bit odd I had to get mine from a guy with a scarf over his face behind Nandos who refused to give me a name, but that was all just part of the fun.
“I just thought he was part of the exciting ethnic vibrant diversity of the local area – well local to him, not me, obviously.
“Him pulling up in an Evo with blacked out windows and obscured plates and saying I’d never seen him was all just a laugh, wasn’t it?”
She went on, “So when people would say we should be careful when smoking in public, it wasn’t just because it’s frowned upon, like playing loud music and dreadlocks?
“Wait. You mean people can actually get into trouble for this stuff? Like with the police and everything?”
When asked, a government spokesman said that whilst Marijuana is technically also illegal for all the nice white people, the chances of them being stopped and searched are pretty much nil, so there’s no need for them to worry about it.