Simon Williams, 31, of North London who follows multiple extremely attractive Instagram models on Instagram, today revealed he only did so because of their inspirational quotes.
‘Cleavage?’ James said when questioned by his girlfriend about having liked 476 near-identical bikini shots in a row of the same woman.
“I wasn’t aware. I only follow her because she tells me how important it is to believe in myself,” he added.
His comments were echoed by many others.
Paul Carlton, 29 of Manchester, said, “Yes, indeed, if I didn’t follow half these woman on Instagram I would probably forget to be humble, which is what they regularly say in captions accompanying extremely flattering pictures of themselves in swimwear.”
“They certainly help me to ‘raise my vibration’, if you know what I mean, though I can’t say I get much ‘motivation’ from the pictures of their lunch. Unless they’re putting something long and phallic-looking into their mouths while eating it.”
Jeff Taylor of Southampton also paid tribute to the valuable history lessons he was receiving by simply looking at pictures of hot women, telling us, “I’ve picked up many deep quotes from Gandhi and others whilst following several fitness models on Instagram.
“I really, definitely, feel like I’m bettering myself by looking at all these women day and night.”
Sadly, Gandhi’s ghost was unavailable for comment but, beaming with pride, a teary Maya Angelou said, “It makes all that racism and other stuff totally worthwhile to learn that my tortured biography can be used to soundbite a post-gym selfie.”