Over-enthusiastic teammate performs oral sex on goal scorer during World Cup match

author avatar by 5 years ago

A Mexican player was so overcome with joy as his team beat World Cup holders Germany that he began to perform oral sex on the scorer of the only goal – Hirving Lozano.

The final whistle sounded and throughout the stadium, supporters and players erupted in ecstasy at the greatest result in history for their team.

However, as the huddle of players started to dissipate, it became apparent that striker Javier Hernandez, better known as Chicharito, was on his knees performing oral sex on Lozano, to whom he had passed to make the goal.

“Boy, was my face red,” laughed Chicharito in the post-match incident.

“I think I just caught up in the moment, you know?

“I mean we were happy, so happy and we were all jumping and hugging and dancing and I just felt great love for this man, my friend, who had scored such a goal for all of Mexico that, before I knew what was happening, I had dropped to my knees and had his penis in my mouth.”

Hernandez said he was a little embarrassed, but had no regrets about the incident being broadcast to hundreds of millions of people worldwide.

“No, he deserved the oral sex, he really did; it was a wonderful strike.”

It is thought that, should England beat Tunisia later today, there will be no replication of the scenes at the Mexico game, with any goal scorers being given a perfunctory handjob from the manager in the dressing room, as is English tradition.