12 hours definitely long enough to debate thing we’ve made little progress on in 2 years, insists government

author avatar by 6 years ago

The government has limited parliamentary discussion of the EU Withdrawal Bill to 12 hours, insisting that this is plenty of time to sort everything out given how much progress they’ve made with the EU in just under two years.

As a vote on a motion to restrict debate time to twelve hours was won by the government, ministers have been quick to point out how much can be achieved in half a day when you actually put your mind to it.

A Whitehall source told us, “Twelve hours is plenty. Any more than that would be overkill and leave us all twiddling our thumbs for hours.

“Look at our Brexit negotiations, it’s almost two years since the referendum, and here we are having activated Article 50 and knowing precisely what our post-Brexit relationship with the EU will be, and also having fleshed out all the details associated with making it work.

“Well, sort of.

“And we achieved all of that in less than two years, so I have no reason to believe 12 hours isn’t sufficient to debate our withdrawal bill; which after all, is only the most important piece of legislation in a generation.”

Voters have been left surprised at the limited time given to debate the withdrawal bill, claiming that it can take the government’s Brexit negotiation team up to eight hours to decide what to order for lunch.

Basingstoke resident Simon Williams told us, “I’m not saying I don’t have faith in our elected officials getting things done in a timely manner, I’m just saying if it was left to David Davis we’ll still be negotiating Brexit at the heat death of the universe.”

Brexit means Clusterf*ck – get the t-shirt here!