EU claims responsibility for UK Eurovision entry stage invasion

author avatar by 5 years ago

The dastardly Jean-Claude Juncker was behind the Eurovision stage invasion.

The UK’s entry was interrupted by a man who grabbed the microphone and started talking a load of gibberish which was later identified as French.

”It was me, and I’ll do it again,” chuckled Juncker.

”You turn your back on Europe and expect to have a hassle-free Eurovision? Ha! Your naivety makes me laugh almost as much as your food.

”You should see what we have planned if your countries go to penalties in the World Cup. Some of the ugliest streakers you’ve ever seen are waiting in the wings.

“And all of your flights to the continent are going to smell faintly of garlic. Mwahaha.”

Brexiter, Jay Cooper, said, “This is just one more reason to get out of Eurovision.

”I voted leave to get out of Eurovision. I don’t even know what the EU is.

”I’m glad nobody was hurt during the stage invasion, but I’m annoyed that the context existed at all. I fucking hate Eurovision. Does it show?”