Men all over country walking tightrope between removing suit jackets and sweaty armpits

author avatar by 5 years ago

The hot weather is forcing male office workers to negotiate that tricky path between taking off their jackets and hiding their hideous, soggy underarms.

Looking professional and maintaining a rudimentary level of personal hygiene are both basic requirements for the modern worker. However, very hot and sticky conditions can make that balance a difficult one to get right.

Accountant Simon Williams talks us through a typical day in the searing mid-twenties heat of present-day Britain.

“When I leave for the station at 0700 it’s still a bit chilly so of course, I need my jacket on. That said, even the twenty-minute walk to the train leaves my armpits slightly moist. At this point I’m thinking ‘maybe my deodorant hasn’t dried yet, I’m sure it’s not noticeable.’ As a precaution, I take my jacket off on the train.

“When I get into London I’m basically completely dry again, though temperatures are now noticeable higher. I carry my jacket to the office.

“Now comes the tricky part – my 0900 meeting with a client. I simply have to wear my jacket, even though the air conditioning is shit and the risk of saturation is high.

“After the meeting, I briefly remove the jacket only to catch a look of embarrassed horror on my colleagues’ faces.

“Inwardly dying, I realise I am passed the point of no return, have dripped my way well beyond the event horizon. I rush to the toilet and look in the mirror – it is an apocalypse of sweat, armpit-ageddon. I now have no choice – my jacket goes back on and doesn’t leave my back for the rest of the day.

“Hours later I get home, peel off my crusty, yellowing shirt and throw it in the wash. I slump in front of the telly wearing only my pants, smelly, exhausted and defeated. I should really shower but I can’t be arsed. I hope it snows tomorrow.”