Teacher with dream of nourishing young minds fortunately also quite keen on learning how to kill people

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As calls to arm teachers reach fever pitch in the US, many teachers have expressed their gratitude to those calling for them to be taught how to take a human life.

Although many teachers enter the academic profession due to their desire for a career that allows them to feed young and inquisitive minds, there are also those who are interested in the possibility of learning how to shoot someone to death.

Florida teacher Barbara Williams, 48, told us, “I’ve spent my life helping to educate this nation’s children, hoping I could play a small part as they go on to become the leaders that make the world a better place. But at the same time, I’ve always harboured this nagging question in my mind about what it would be like to kill a man.

“I always thought it was a question I would take to the grave, but thankfully, that opportunity might be a lot closer than I ever thought possible.

“I know that some people will question whether teachers and educators – those of us who were drawn to care for the nation’s children – really are the right sort of people you can rely on to take up arms against gun-toting maniacs.

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“To those people, I would say that we all have a bit of bloodlust inside us if we look hard enough.

“Just because I’ve spent my career trying help young people make sense of the world around them, doesn’t mean I wouldn’t want to know what it would sound like when a 9mm round explodes out the back of another man’s head.”

Barbara is expected to be featured on an NRA poster near you by tomorrow.