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Ending the use of ‘walk-on girls’ in Formula One risks fans noticing that it is actually mind-numbingly dull, the sport’s organising body has been warned.
The girls, who have distracted fans from the endless parade of cars going round and round for years, will not make an appearance for the next season – leading to sponsors expressing concern that fans might actually watch the sport.
“I just don’t get it,” said Formula One fan Simon Williams. “I’m here for the totty and the occasional massive pile-up.
“With the strenuous efforts made to improve safety on the track in recent years, getting rid of the bikini-ladies could prove to be the final nail in the coffin as far as I’m concerned.
“What Formula One need to realise is that without something to liven up their core product they risk losing fans like me to something less boring, like the Snooker or Mrs Brown’s Boys.”
To counter any loss of interest, Formula One is expected to take advice from other famously boring sports like Baseball to see how they manage to retain support.
New F1 owners Liberty Media explained, “We’re thinking that immense volumes of cheap, watery beer seem to keep the fans placid for hours at American sporting events, so that’s got to be worth a try.”
