Toffifee mysteriously appears on supermarket shelves again

author avatar by 7 years ago

This year, as every year, there is a mystery surrounding the recent arrival of Toffifee to supermarket shelves in the run-up towards Christmas.

The peculiar half-moons of caramelly weirdness first started appearing towards the end of November.

“Damned if I know where the bloody things come from,” said Simon Williams, a manager of a Tesco metro in Bolton.

“We just got in one morning, and there they were on the shelf. I didn’t order them. Why would I order them? They’re weird and for eleven months of the year, no-one even asks for them.

“It happens every year around late-November – just like clockwork. They just appear out of nowhere, all these bloody Toffifee on the shelves. Always in the same spot, box after box.

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“We’ll have to spend the next month or so dusting them off every day, because they’re a bloody magnet for dust, they really are – especially as no-one goes near them.

“Then, in January, we just clear them off the shelves and chuck them all in the bin.”

Mr Williams had a theory surrounding the arrival of the sweets to his shelves.

“I reckon that there must be some sort of time-vortex back to the seventies when people thought that Toffifee were a good thing.

“That time-vortex is right here on this shelf, and every year someone from the past accidentally stacks a load of Toffifee in the time-vortex and it mysteriously appears here.

“It’s the only bloody explanation I’ve got as to why any shop would stock Toffifee in 2017.”