Jeremy Hunt, the MP for cockney rhyming slang, has today expressed his relief at being able to pin the blame for the state of the NHS on someone other than himself.
Following the publication of a tongue-in-cheek article in the British Medical Journal in which Peppa Pig’s usage of primary care services and her doctor’s practices are examined, the Health Secretary has confirmed that the over-stretched state of the NHS can be blamed entirely on children’s TV characters.
“I know the BMJ and I haven’t always seen eye-to-eye,” he told journalists outside his massive house in the country, “Especially about the junior doctors and the increased privatisation of the NHS.
“But it is good to see that they have stated that it is Peppa Pig’s fault that the NHS is crumbling around our ears, and nothing to do with me at all.
“If only Peppa Pig sought advice from her local pharmacy for her cough or gammy eye or whatever, then that would take the pressure off her GP and consequently hospital doctors and nurses.”
Having heard of the impact that children’s TV characters can have, David Davis is understood to be travelling to Mousetego Bay to secure the help of Rastamouse in making a bad ‘ting good with this whole Brexit business.