by 
Britain has shown its usual pluck to make it into work on time.
Despite snow, ice and yetis (probably), the hard-working men and women of the United Kingdom donned coats, hats and scarves before setting about the family saloon with an ice scraper to get to their soul-shattering places of employment in good time.
“My journey this morning was literally Lord of the Rings,” said Simon Williams, one of the many hard-working Britons who doesn’t know what “literally” means.
“The car wouldn’t start, so I had to walk to work. I fell over twice, eventually limping into the office with a badly barked shin but an enormous sense of achievement.
“Now comes the truly difficult task of dealing with the pricks in accounting, my bastard of a manager and the ironically rude and unpleasant woman in charge of our HR department.
“Such are the joys of working as a sales executive at Premium Pencil Leads; the number one pencil lead company, our slogan is ‘we put lead in your pencil’. God I hate it here.
“But I made it on time in order to spend eight hours here, and that’s definitely good.”
