The Duchess of Cambridge’s family has telephoned Meghan Markle’s parents to offer congratulations on their lottery win.
Mr and Mrs Middleton heard the news this morning and immediately telephoned the Markles to advise them to google the price of speedboats, 70″ 4K TVs and mansions in New Hampshire.
“We are absolutely delighted for Meghan,” said Mr. Middleton, communicating via speakerphone as the tailor measured his inside leg for a new suit made of titanium.
“Harry is a wonderful young man and we are absolutely delighted for him and for your bank manager – I mean daughter.”
Mrs. Middleton advised, “You know that bit at the beginning of Duck Tales where Scrooge McDuck dives into a pool of coins? Don’t try it. It’s not actually feasible and you’ll just end up hurting yourself quite badly.
“I’m sure you’re looking forward to the wedding. You get a go on a private jet and everything.
“Take along two empty suitcases as well, just in case you buy some souvenirs or if you’re given some huge amount of money of some kind while you’re there. That’s what we did.”
Covering the receiver at his end, Mr Markle said, “how long do I have to listen to this before I can hang up?”