There has been widespread shock today at the stunning news that a furniture store is having a sale.
Sofageddon on the Chorley ring-road announced that there would be a store-wide sale starting from Saturday morning.
“Well, I literally screamed for a full minute before soiling myself and crashing the car when I heard the news,” said Chorley resident Simon Williams.
“A sale? In a furniture store? What a world we live in today. I’m certainly going to be taking advantage of these prices and will be purchasing at least 72 new sofas.
“I only have a one-bedroom flat, but who knows when an opportunity like this could arise again?”
Sofageddon’s plans have rocked the staid world of furniture shops to its very core.
“Well, I don’t mind admitting, we didn’t see this coming,” said Eleanor Gay, General Manager of Chorley’s Sofasplosion.
“I mean, reducing the price of goods to increase footfall into the retail space and drive up profits through the quantity of goods sold. It’s genius. How the hell did they come up with this plan?
“We’re on the back foot here, we’ve got to come up with something to combat this or they’re going to crush us, but at the moment, we’re stumped. I mean, what does a furniture store do to combat another furniture store’s sale?
It is expected that Sofageddon’s sale will come to an end in a month’s time, whereupon they will once more shock customers and competition alike by immediately starting another sale.