OJ Simpson relieved to finally be able to begin tracking down real murderer

Following his release from prison on charges of armed robbery and kidnapping, OJ Simpson has expressed relief that he is finally able to begin tracking down the real murderer of Nicole Brown Simpson and Ron Goldman.

Speaking at a press conference just minutes after his release from Lovelock Correctional Centre, Simpson said, “After being acquitted of their murders in 1995, I vowed to track down the real murderer and make sure that he faced justice.

“I didn’t manage to do this, but only because I then had to face a wrongful death civil trial.

“And then I had to move Florida to try to keep hold of the money I lost in the wrongful death civil trial.

“And then I was busy writing a book that sort of said I was the murderer all along.

“And then I was busy making a hidden-camera prank TV series where I attempted to sell the white Ford Bronco made famous by my low-speed car chase.

“And then I took part in an armed robbery and kidnapping trying to claw back some of the money I lost in the wrongful death civil trial.

“And then I got sent to prison as a result of that, which really put a dent in the whole tracking down the real murderer and making sure he faced justice thing.

“But now I can finally get down to finishing the job I said I would start 22 years ago and track down the real murderer and make sure that he faces justice.”

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