World mourns dirty old man with amazing PR team

author avatar by 7 years ago

A man who slept with women a quarter of age and often had around seven girls on the go at the same time isn’t being viewed the way you’d normally view such a man.

Hugh Hefner, a man who brought the world a pornography brand that somehow wound up on your 10-year-old daughter’s schoolbag, died at 91.

“He would have seven girlfriends at a time, and that was brilliant,” claimed Simon Williams.

“I mean, not really, obviously, it kind of suggests he had a bit of a lack of respect for every single one of them, and perhaps for women in general, and if I did that I would definitely be a social pariah, but the thing is he was rich.

“And then there’s the Bill Cosby thing, but that’s not important.

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“But that’s not all we’re mourning here, he made pornography ok, and that’s done wonders for our culture at large.

“I can barely get it up with the wife at all anymore unless I’m thinking of a 16-way bukake nightmare involving a blonde girl trying to fake a smile through waves of semen.

“See even that sentence would have made us all uncomfortable fifty years ago, but now it’s just ‘meh’. Good ol’ Heff.”

Hugh Hefner’s head of PR said “thank God this is over. I’m fucking exhausted.”