by 
Reports of a Sunderland school sending children home for wearing the wrong uniform has left the nation shocked that they were there in the first place.
Reports indicate that children were required to ‘queue up in the rain’, which most observers thought was a normal part of educating someone for a life spent living in the North East.
However, children whose trousers did not match a colour chart were sent home, leading to many wondering if that was the whole idea in the first place.
“In all seriousness, I was surprised any of them showed up at all,” said headmaster Simon Williams. “I’ll tell you what, that wouldn’t have happened if we’d been just over the river in Newcastle.
“But school rules are very clear. Pupil’s trousers must be the same grey as their dad’s vest, and shirts must fully cover all tattoos.
“So picking a minor infraction as grounds to shut up for the day was a great idea for everyone and a universally popular outcome”, he added. “The kids got to go home and so did I. Bottoms up!”
Parents of pupils sent home are reported to be ‘outraged’, with one family having to return from Wetherspoons almost seven hours early to collect their children.
