A man whose commute takes him through London Waterloo seems to think you’re interested in hearing all about it today.
33-year-old Simon Williams, who passes through Waterloo every morning, thinks everyone is mad keen to learn about what a miserable experience it was and to hear him use the phrase ‘they herd us like sheep’ with a rueful chuckle again and again.
Simon, who showed up at work over an hour late, has spent the rest of the morning regaling the everyone else at work with his stories when everyone else wishes he’d just shut up and get on with his actual job.
“God, it was awful,” he began in the hope of earning himself an audience.
“There were no trains at all going through Kingston, so I got on the Windsor service which sat at the platform for an hour, and then it was buses all the way,” he went on under the delusion that his story was riveting.
“I thought I’d have to get a cab at one point but that would be even more expensive and take even longer!” he said to the general disinterest of every coworker.
“Getting home will be even worse! I’ll probably have to go round by Wimbledon which will add at least another hour,” he added as his fellow workers wondered how much extra time putting him in A&E would add to his trip.
At the time of writing, Simon has just looked at his watch and announced it’s time for lunch having successfully done no work at all this morning.