Wednesday 14 June 2017 by Neil Tollfree

Diane Abbott reveals she has type 4,783,128 diabetes

Diane Abbott

Labour MP Diane Abbott has revealed that she has type 4,783,128 diabetes and that the condition had forced her to take a break from the General Election campaign.

Medical experts declared themselves shocked.

“Type 4,783,128 diabetes,” said baffled doctor Simon Williams.

“I mean, naturally my sympathies are with Ms Abbot, types 1 & 2 diabetes are dreadful conditions for someone to live with, but I’ve never heard of type 4,783,128 diabetes.

“I did read recently that there was research continuing into a possible type 3 diabetes, but unless that research has gone off on a wild tangent since then, I’m not entirely sure what type 4,783,128 diabetes is.”

Since Ms Abbott’s revelation yesterday, companies across the country have reported a significant increase in employees calling in sick with type 4,783,128 diabetes and have asked her to clarify her condition.

Ms Abbot has since done so.

“My apologies,” she said

“I do not have type 4,783,128 diabetes, I misspoke.

“I actually have type -67 diabetes. No, I mean type three quarters diabetes. No, type 2! I have type 2 diabetes.

“Sorry, never was any good with figures.”

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