America hastily building wall to stop Donald Trump getting back in

Donald Trump’s first international visit has been marked by frenzied construction on the borders of his home country.

Trump departed for the Middle East last week and deliveries of bricks commenced less than five minutes later; lines of trucks are said to be backed up for miles shipping building materials from the interior to the borders.

Observers are said to be impressed by the rapidity of construction, which is being achieved by millions of citizens pitching in – some with their bare hands.

“We’re going to build a wall. A great, beautiful wall,” said bricklayer Simon Williams.

“It’s going to be great.

“It’s going to stretch all around this great country of ours and stop undesirables getting back in, mentioning no names, looking at nobody in particular, cough.

“I just pray we get it done in time.”

Critics of the project have pointed out that a wall can’t stop someone getting into your country if they really want to because they can fly, tunnel or go by boat, but this has been dismissed with hollow, derisory laughter.